


Just Shut Up

by alianora



Category: Roswell (TV)
Genre: F/M, Spoilers: Departure, baby's first fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-08
Updated: 2010-05-08
Packaged: 2017-10-09 08:58:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alianora/pseuds/alianora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maria decides Michael talks too much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Shut Up

I knew.

I'm not stupid.

There were only so many reasons Michael would tell me to come over, cook for me, then show me flashes of his life.

I knew he was leaving. Either that, or he had been cheating on me and felt guilty. And I know; now anyway, that there is no way he would cheat on me. I really don't think he could.

But he stepped past what was left of that damned stonewall to show me how he feels. And I saw what he sees when he looks at me. He told me once, the night he stopped by the Crashdown during the heat wave, that he felt out of breath and dizzy, like he had been punched in the stomach.

I felt his pain when Hank went for his belt. I felt his loneliness, his envy for Max and Isabel's shiny happy life.

And underneath it all I felt the fear. I could feel his whole heart yelling 'No!' even as he got almost too choked up to talk.

And I knew.

But I didn't want to hear it. Not then. I just wanted him to shut up and kiss me. For just the two of us to exist right then. Nothing else. No aliens. No humans. No Max or Isabel or Mom or disapproving stares. No destiny.

Just Michael and Maria.

We had never gone all the way before. That's such a stupid expression, but we hadn't. I wasn't ready. I knew I loved him, but I also knew love wouldn't really be enough. I knew he was going to have to leave someday, and I was so scared that I would end up working two jobs to put food on the table for my kids, wondering where their father was. I didn't want to do that. I saw what it did to my mom.

But when he showed me everything, something clicked. I wasn't scared anymore.

After, he was so tense; I knew he was going to tell me. I tried to will him to shut up. I wanted it to stay like it was for a few more minutes. I wanted to stay secure and happy in his arms for just a little while longer.

But he had to tell me. And even though I already knew, there was something so final, so crushing about him saying it.

They were leaving. And we only had an hour left.

I still don't know why he didn't leave. He has waited his whole life for answers, waited, and wanted to go home. And he gave all of that up for me.

We are connected now. Literally. There is a constant buzzing in the back of my head, telling me where he is and what he is feeling. Sometimes I'll catch an odd flash out of nowhere of what he is doing or thinking about right then.

My Spaceboy has a dirty mind. Especially now, when he is supposed to be cooking, not fantasizing about me wearing nothing but my apron.

Liz says I am quieter now. I guess its because I like listening to the buzz behind my left ear, I like knowing if he is frustrated or lonely. I like it better when I know he is happy.

Sometimes, you just have to shut up and listen to what your heart tells you. I'm glad I finally heard mine.

END


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